" What is the best way to deal with this? "

"But I want to!" In front of the counter at the bakery, a little fighting dwarf shouts out loudly that he doesn't agree with his mother's "no". A situation that many parents find unpleasant. Welcome to the defiant phase - the time when your little one turns into a real defiant head. We give you tips on how to deal with it.

A developmental step with many changes

Exactly when this dreaded time begins depends on the child's individual development. Some children hit the ground running at the age of two, while for others the defiant phase begins at the age of 3. This period can last until the age of 6, and sometimes it starts again at the age of 4. But one thing is certain: it will come. Every family experiences a different intensity. However, this phase requires nerves and patience in any case.

The defiant phase can last from the age of 3 to 6

However, it also represents an important developmental step. Your little one develops his own ideas, concepts and, of course, his own personality. He begins to question things. However, they lack sufficient life experience to realize that not everything always works as simply as it seems.

What should you do if your child throws a tantrum in public?

Embarrassing. This is the first thought that crosses most parents' minds when their offspring rages and rages and screams in the street. Rest assured that many more people will sympathize with you than you might think. Anyone who has children knows this all too well. Unfortunately, there is no real patent remedy here. Most parents develop their own strategies. Sometimes it is helpful to stop the scene completely by not queuing at the checkout with the sweets in the supermarket. However, it is important that you do not get loud yourself. At the same time, you should not comply with your child's demands just to keep them quiet.

Stay cool in particularly hot phases

It is certainly not always easy to remain calm and in control. A loud word may be spoken or the door may slam shut in dicey situations. However, as a parent, you don't have to be ashamed of this. A stable relationship between child and parent can naturally withstand this. It is best to take a short break by leaving the room. A brief physical separation will usually calm things down more quickly.

A child's tantrum in the defiant phase usually disappears as quickly as it comes. Help your little one to feel a little better again. Give him a hug and show him that you still love him. Cute Cubbies cuddly toys with their googly eyes can be the first saviors in need.

Stay consistent!

Consistency is probably one of the most difficult tasks in training. But it stabilizes and clearly shows the limits. Raising a child does not mean giving them all the freedom they need or forbidding them everything. It is a balancing act. Children have to learn that they don't always get everything just because they feel like it.

This is how you should behave during a tantrum

Don't get involved in discussions.

It is certainly important to take your child's opinion seriously, even during the tantrum phase, and to give them the feeling that you understand them. However, you do not need to get involved in debates.

Show understanding, but don't get involved in discussions

Do not constantly insist on saying no

In many situations, parents see that something could possibly happen. The emphasis here is on could. Children don't think that far ahead, they want to try things out.

Give your boy or girl the opportunity to push their limits from time to time. Gaining their own experiences is incredibly important for their development.

It's not easy to say yes when, as a parent, you constantly have the thought in your head that things will go wrong. But people learn from their experiences. Both from good and less good ones. In other words, before you say no to everything, ask yourself first: could your little one be harmed or seriously injured? No? Then just let him try.

Give in a little occasionally, but not too often!

Always giving in is fatal

On the other hand, don't give in to every wish, of course. In this way you send out completely the wrong signals and the child learns that it always gets its way and this goes far beyond the actual defiant phase in a toddler. A wonderful example can be found at the sweets checkout in the supermarket, where little chocolate bars always make your child's eyes light up.

Never use physical or emotional violence

There is no question about it. As stressful as the defiant phase may be for a child. You cannot educate them with physical violence. Mental injuries should not be underestimated either. Therefore, consider every word carefully. As a rule, temporary separation helps. Either send your child to their room or leave the room for a while. Once your child has calmed down, you can talk about it again in peace.

Violence is never a solution!

If an argument is forgotten, you can also, for example craft materials and have a craft session together to spend some quality time together again.