" Why do children have bad dreams and how do you deal with them? "

First you hear a short scream, then a cry. Taps, taps, taps and the little one crawls into the parents' bed between mom and dad. "I had a nightmare!" or "There are monsters in my room!" is what they say. But what is the best thing for parents to do now? In this article, you will find out where nightmares in children come from, how you as parents can deal with them appropriately and what the differences are to other sleep disorders in children.

What are nightmares?

Everyone has dreams. That's why nightmares disturb almost everyone's sleep from time to time. However, they occur most frequently in children between the ages of 5 and 10. 50 - 70 % of this age group are haunted by scary scenes while they sleep. These produce very strong, negative feelings in the form of anger, disgust or fear. The dreamer is finally startled out of sleep and is wide awake.

Bad dreams

Blood pressure and pulse rate have already risen during the dream phase. Children then need some time to calm down enough to continue sleeping. Nightmares in children are absolutely normal. You should ask your pediatrician for advice if the bad dreams occur regularly or several times a week. The reason why young schoolchildren suffer from this form of sleep disturbance more frequently than adults on average is due to brain development.

Some areas of the brain develop faster than others. This can lead to an unbalanced processing of experiences.

However, this is only the reason for the higher prevalence of nightmares in children. The specific causes must be sought elsewhere.

Causes of nightmares

The specific trigger for a nightmare is difficult to determine. It does not have to be a single event, but can consist of a combination of different difficult situations. Nightmares are usually caused by very intense, anxiety-producing experiences. A sleep disorder is usually observed more frequently in children during times of acute or chronic stress.

The following are possible causes, for example:

• Stress at school
• Tensions in the family/social environment
• New partner of mother/father
• New phase of life (e.g. transition to school)
• Divorce of the parents
• Experiences of violence or abuse

The last point in particular has the potential to cause nightmares for years to come. Unfortunately, the cause cannot necessarily be deduced from the content of the dream. During sleep, it is primarily the intense feelings from an event that are processed. The images themselves may originate from a completely different context.

Sleepless girl hides behind the covers

Incidentally, sleep disorders do not mean that parents have done something wrong. They are completely normal phenomena in the learning process of finding one's way in the world. There is even thought to be a certain genetic predisposition to nightmares. Sensitive and creative children in particular seem to be more susceptible to stress and therefore tend to sleep less well.

Differentiation from other sleep disorders

Nightmares in children are most often confused with the so-called "night terrors". However, "Pavor Nocturnus" is very different from anxiety dreams. The child is startled out of sleep, is very restless and cries or even screams. However, it is not really awake and therefore not responsive. It usually calms down again within a short time and goes back to sleep.

After a nightmare, on the other hand, he is wide awake, reacts to stimuli from his environment and often needs some time to get back to sleep.

In addition, night terrors tend to occur in the first half of the night, nightmares in the second half. While children between the ages of 5 and 10 are more likely to suffer from sleep disorders such as nightmares, toddlers between the ages of 2 and 4 are more frequently affected by Pavor Nocturnus.

Avoiding nightmares in children

There are a few simple rules that can reduce the likelihood of bad dreams. However, there is never a guarantee. However, it is helpful to develop certain bedtime rituals. This could be reading a story aloud, putting the cuddly toys to bed or cleaning the room of evil monsters. The latter is a good strategy for pre-school children. You can also explain to schoolchildren that there are no monsters. Unlike younger children, they can already tell the difference between fantasy and reality.

Reading a story aloud as a bedtime ritual

Overall, a fixed daily routine helps to bring peace and order into everyday life. This generally makes sleep disturbances less likely. It also makes sense to discuss particularly exciting events of the day before going to bed. This allows them to be processed and sorted while awake. Television, on the other hand, should be avoided in the last few hours before bedtime. Even if the programs are suitable for children, the brain is activated in a way that prevents peaceful sleep.

Other ways to ensure nightmare-free sleep include installing a night light, a cuddly toy or cuddly blanketthat is always allowed to sleep in the crib at night. Some placebos such as a cream or a scented pillow against nightmares can also work wonders.

What should parents do after nightmares?

If your son or daughter wakes up at night because of bad dreams and even cries, one thing is very important: attention and understanding. Turn on the light, give him or her a hug and let them know that everything is okay now. Don't dismiss the dreams as fantasies. If it is difficult to go back to sleep, hold your child's hand or simply take him or her into the parents' bed. Sometimes it also helps to leave the doors open or lie down next to the child's bed.

Mother comforts little boy after nightmare

The day after the nightmare, you should encourage your child to tell you about it. Of course, coercion or bribery is inappropriate here. He may like to draw the figures or scenes from the dream. If they are old enough, they can also write the dream down. Be open to the story, but don't fantasize more yourself. Instead, think together with your child about what could help with such a bad dream. Let them draw a protective figure in the dream picture. Think together about a good ending to the scary story.

A self-made spell can also be an effective weapon against a repetition of the nightmare.

Sleep disorders in children are therefore quite normal. As long as they don't occur frequently or regularly, you don't need to worry. The search for the causes of nightmares can be difficult, but will reveal many revealing details about your child's experience.